Blog, Poems, Teachings
A place to record all of the above.
A place to record all of the above.
Can I get a chance to breathe? Oh yes! That's right....I am supposed to breathe through whatever I am going through. How about a day off? No? An hour off? No? Well for shit's sake, I hope the next level I am growing into gives me at least a spring break.
Yes! You have probably guessed it by now that this is how my day is going. It's one hella transformational journey I am on right now. The Universe, my higher self, whomever is saying LOOK AT THIS NICOLE AND ADDRESS IT.
What is "this"? It is the theme that has been showing up for a while in my life. The theme that has broken all of my resistance to it. The theme that has shredded me from the inside. The very same theme that has humbled and angered the piss out of me at the same time. It is the theme of standing in my power and speaking my truth no matter what or who is thrown my way. Just when I thought, "ok, I got that I am to address this and I am doing the best I can in every moment." Well............(that gets extra dots for that one) Not enough Nicole. It's going to show up hourly and "in your face" until it becomes your breath. You will be doing this in every moment as easily as you take those breaths of life. Wow. Again I am humbled, ripped wide open and exposed. Let's also rub some salt in that wound shall we? Sheesh.
I will say this. Even in my WTF? state, I can still see the theme that the experiences and events are showing me. It is what I have asked for in a way. Of course I wish it would show up in a convenient and gentle way, but then I would take a lot longer to integrate the experience wouldn't I? Most likely. I needed the tire iron to the face approach for this one. I thought I was doing so great with it!!! "Nope," My Higher Self said. (Whom I affectionately call Michelle, which is a story for another day) Not that I consider Michelle a meanie by any means, but she knows what is aligning us with our true calling, our Divine path and essence. You might be asking at this point, "What is that Nicole? What is your true calling?" Let's not get impatient with me here....when I know...you will know....I am typing this to you as I am saying it to myself to remind me to BREATHE and be patient.
Maybe at this point I can put some pieces of the puzzle known as my life together. Maybe that's a way to see my true calling? Who knows. This is what I know of me. I have wanted to be on stage and in front of a huge audience since I was a little girl. I told my dad that I wanted to be a rock star which meant a singer in my heart. Being the sensitive soul that I am, he made a joke about that and I shut down. I wouldn't sing until I became an adult. I still feel the pull and the power to be on stage to this day, and to help others become the best version of themselves.
I have been a sports coach, personal trainer, manager, inspirational speaker, healer, etc., to help fulfill that drive of sharing my energy with the world. Yeah, yeah, I know, Life is a stage. Then why is it in my fingerprints (which we are born with and don't ever change) that I am in service, a healer and play a Zeus role on this planet? Is it that I am to be a singer? Straight up healer? Not everyone is supposed to be leading and on stage, however, if you think of the whole role Zeus plays in the stories, he was the God of Gods. He governed and ruled so that others could govern and rule( let's skip over the many women, infidelity etc. I am talking about the big picture role). I am not saying that I am to rule over anyone either. What I take from it is that my role is way different than attending to the minute details of whatever is going on. I support the ones that excel with the minute details.
I have examples of Zeus' in their power. I have a dear friend that is a powerful Zeus healer through singing and music. Another, whom I haven't met yet, is one of the most powerful healers through his singing that I have ever known. Several non-musical Zeus' are Oprah, Panache Desai, and Matt Kahn. I admire them. I admire that they are standing in their Zeus power. I am looking forward to being able to be on stage in some form, standing in my Zeus power and fully being in service to the entire planet.
Maybe it's being a hands on healer? I know I excel at that too. I don't know if that would get my on my stage. Do I have to be hands on? No, I don't. However, I haven't been able to express what it is that I do because there is a language barrier. There are only a few syllables and words that we use in this reality. I speak and hear in energy and vibration that is infinite. There is a huge gap that I haven't been able to find the bridge, zip line or hang glider to get to the other side to reach others that don't hear and speak in energy and vibration.
Is it the intuitive abilities that I have? Maybe. That definitely goes hand-in-hand with the healing portion of my gifts and the empathic part too. It hasn't seemed to work the way I have been trying to go about expressing my gifts and sharing them with the world so far. Which, to me, is saying that it is different than how you are trying it to fit in a mold. What mold you may ask? Well...back to my first post of what others have said about energy, healing, everything. Also, the mold that I have put around the everything. Michelle is helping me break through those barriers. recognizing the mold isn't even there if I stop looking. If I just trust. If I breathe in life. If I allow the rebel to come out. If I allow the playfulness to come out.(I rarely have problems with playing anymore) If I stand in my POWER. If I embrace the beautiful masterpiece in the making that is ME.
What I know is this, I will continually embrace each experience as it arises to the best of my ability. I will deepen the connection with Michelle. I will stand in my power and speak my truth no matter how uncomfortable I feel. Also, no matter how someone takes what my truth is, I will continually embrace ME authentically. That is all I can definitely say that I know. HA!
So here I go with the rest of my day....standing in my power, speaking my truth, and BREATHING ME IN!
Stay tuned for my next post.
This is where I put the things that the Divine wants me to share at this time. :-)